marți, 2 august 2011

Aangel went from being "in a relationship" to being "single" or... Will I ever find the love I dream of? by Aangel

I may be young and stupid but I am not ready yet to give up my whole life for a man whom I don't really know if it's worth it... So he realized he doesn't want to sit around and wait for me so we decided to go our separate ways...My problem now is that even though I wanted freedom so badly, it hurts like hell letting him go and move on... I thought I'd feel relieved, I thought it would be easy or at least easier...
The things that happened made me think about me and my feelings and the way I react to different situations and different people and I realized that either he wasn't the one and I didn't love him enough, either I'm scared of commitment and of losing my personality in front of his...
In theory I do want to get married some day, have kids, grow old with somebody and have "my happy ever after" but I guess that deep down inside I'm scared of all that...
So many things went wrong in my life that I'm afraid of letting go and giving into someone cause they might hurt me...so sometimes, in order to not get hurt I am the one that hurts people first but I don't think that this time I did that...
I'm not the kind of person to blame myself... I've lost some of the important people in my life but maybe it was for the best... People change in time, they evolve in different ways, they're common interests change, they get to meet new people, interesting people, they get to find new things they like, new activities they enjoy so some relationships are meant to end at some point.
I can't really say I'm happy now but at least I'm peaceful, I embrace the things that come to me as they come so if I am single now maybe the Universe has something better for me and I'm just gonna sit around and enjoy what happens next.